You are the owner of a fine steakhouse that is about to open for business. The community is excited about it because there isn't another for miles. Pretty much a guarantee of high revenue. You are in the process of hiring your wait staff and upon interviewing, you learn that one of the very well qualified prospects is a vegetarian but wants to work knowing that the possibility of high tips are there.
Would you:
a) Hire this person without question or restriction.
b) Hire this person with the provision that they do not discuss their dietary choices and if the situation came up, recommend items on the menu even if it might be dishonest.
c) Do not hire this person based on a conflict of interest, inablility to promote and recommend key items on the menu and the chance of possibly making the customers uncomfortable.
This was a heated debate I had with a friend and I was just wondering what others might think. Thanks!
A hypothetical question: What would you do?
I'm between B and C. If the person can assure me that serving meat and recommending meals won't be a problem, then I'd probably the hire person. I'd be worried if the applicant volunteered his vegetarianism in the interview, though. That's just stupid. I'm running a steakhouse here. Are you trying to not get hired?
Reply:I have never known a vegetarian who could promote an aged rib eye that is nicely marbled or a thick lamb chop cooked medium rare. I wouldn't hire the person. I would hire the person who had actually sampled the food and could vouch for it, and do a great job selling it.
Reply:He might be Vegetarian because of an allergy etc-- Did you establish the reasons for his preferences? I would not consider him unfairly against the other Applicants .
I would not judge him on that one fact alone.
Reply:I personally don't know any vegetarians who could stomach serving platters of meat to customers. If the applicant listed this, it sounds important to her. Both she and you could make better choices.
Reply:I would hire this person with the provision that if they did not do the job well or they made the customers uncomfortable, they would no longer be employed by me.
I think that everyone deserves a chance but if they can't do they job to my satisfaction, then they would have to go. But I would make them understand the conditions before they took the job.
Reply:I would hire the person and explain the rules of employment before she/he begins the job. I do not see why being a vegetarian would even be an issue for his/her employment. Obviously the person just wants a job or they wouldn't have put in an application.
Reply:B. An employer has the right to ask if an applicant can perform the job he/she is applying for, e.g. if you apply for a warehouse job lifting 100 pound boxes you have to be able to lift 100 pounds.
Above, if the applicant will not do the job applied for the owner should not make the hire.
Reply:I am hiring wait help, I really don't care if they personally are a vegetarian, satanic cult member or a Protestant as long as they are qualified. I expect them to do the job, and will train them and everyone else the exact same way. If they cannot do the job as they were trained to do than they will be released before the end of their probation period. I am in it to make money and to give the best service to my guest at the restaurant. If their being a vegan gets in the way, see ya.
Reply:A) If the person is expecting high tips, then the person won't be trying to get people to not eat steak at a steakhouse. That's where the money is.Therefore, their vegetarianism is a non-issue.
Reply:A. What does it matter if they are vegetarian? If they wants to work at the steakhouse, I think the issue of being around meat is their own. And even if they discussed their dietary choices, what would it matter? People that go to steakhouses aren't vegetarians. I don't think they are going to change their minds about ordering a steak.
Reply:I would say B. I don't give a damn if the person I hire is a vegetarian, greek orthodox or scientologist. I care about his qualification and whether he can do his job well. However, there must be a condition that he does not make the customers uncomfortable.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Help with question concerning Non-Fatal Offences Against the Person. Explanation would be real helpful. Thanks
Constable DOUGHTY wishes to question MILLS about an alleged assault. The officer attends at MILLS's home address and tells him the nature of the incident. Knowing that he is about to be arrested, MILLS grabs hold of Constable DOUGHTY's arm and pulls him into the doorway; he then slams the door on the officer's arm and makes good his escape. As a result of this attack, Constable DOUGHTY's arm is broken in two places.
When, interviewed, MILLS states that he did not intend to cause the injury, but accepts that his conduct presented a risk of some harm to the officer.
Which of the following statements is correct?
A This would not amount to s.18 assault, as there was no malice, i.e. premeditation.
BThis would not amount to s.18 assault, as there was no intention to cause serious harm.
C This would amount to s 18 assault, as MILLS intended to prevent his lawful arrest.
DThis would not amount to s.18 assault, as MILLS had not actually been arrested.
Help with question concerning Non-Fatal Offences Against the Person. Explanation would be real helpful. Thanks
C for sure
Reply:c
Reply:In the USA this would be charged as an assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. Resisting is defined as interfering with the lawful arrest of oneself or another and their need not be premeditation in order to commit an assault. Regardless,in this case, I do not believe that anyone would believe that in closing a door on a police officer's arm one had no intent to cause physical harm anyway.
BTW- perhaps you should read your textbooks more closely and do your own homework!
When, interviewed, MILLS states that he did not intend to cause the injury, but accepts that his conduct presented a risk of some harm to the officer.
Which of the following statements is correct?
A This would not amount to s.18 assault, as there was no malice, i.e. premeditation.
BThis would not amount to s.18 assault, as there was no intention to cause serious harm.
C This would amount to s 18 assault, as MILLS intended to prevent his lawful arrest.
DThis would not amount to s.18 assault, as MILLS had not actually been arrested.
Help with question concerning Non-Fatal Offences Against the Person. Explanation would be real helpful. Thanks
C for sure
Reply:c
Reply:In the USA this would be charged as an assault on a police officer and resisting arrest. Resisting is defined as interfering with the lawful arrest of oneself or another and their need not be premeditation in order to commit an assault. Regardless,in this case, I do not believe that anyone would believe that in closing a door on a police officer's arm one had no intent to cause physical harm anyway.
BTW- perhaps you should read your textbooks more closely and do your own homework!
Tough statistics question....?
The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article indicating differences in perception of sexual harassment on the job between men and women. The article claimed that women perceived the problem to be much more prevalent than did men. One question asked to both men and women was: "Do you think sexual harassment is a major problem in the American workplace?" Some 24% of the men compared to 62% of the women responded "Yes." Suppose that 150 women and 200 men were interviewed. For a 0.01 level of significance, what is the critical value for the rejection region?
A) 6.635
B) 2.33
C) 7.106
D) 7.173
Tough statistics question....?
Use the formula on the site below. The test statistic is 7.173. The critical z value for a 0.01 one tailed test is 2.33.
This question just asks for the critical rejection value, so that would be 2.33
Reply:Ho: p1 = p2
Ha: p1 %26lt; p2 (one-tailed test)
α = 0.01
Z critical = - 2.33 I guess this is your answer, but in the interest of science, I'll continue:
Z calculated = (0.24 - 0.62)/√(phat(1-phat)(1/200+1/150))
Where phat = (X1+X2)/(n1+n2) = (48+93)/(350) = 0.4029
Z calculated = (-0.38)/√0.0028 = -0.38/0.053 = -7.17
Conclusion: Because -7.17 %26lt; - 2.33 the Ho cannot be accepted and conclude that men don't think it's as much a problem as do women.
A) 6.635
B) 2.33
C) 7.106
D) 7.173
Tough statistics question....?
Use the formula on the site below. The test statistic is 7.173. The critical z value for a 0.01 one tailed test is 2.33.
This question just asks for the critical rejection value, so that would be 2.33
Reply:Ho: p1 = p2
Ha: p1 %26lt; p2 (one-tailed test)
α = 0.01
Z critical = - 2.33 I guess this is your answer, but in the interest of science, I'll continue:
Z calculated = (0.24 - 0.62)/√(phat(1-phat)(1/200+1/150))
Where phat = (X1+X2)/(n1+n2) = (48+93)/(350) = 0.4029
Z calculated = (-0.38)/√0.0028 = -0.38/0.053 = -7.17
Conclusion: Because -7.17 %26lt; - 2.33 the Ho cannot be accepted and conclude that men don't think it's as much a problem as do women.
Is it me or is my love life simply cursed?
I'm 22, very attractive, talented in the performing arts, fun to be around, and natural sense of humour. I'm a nice guy who puts his foot down only when it is necessary. I really mean it when I commit to someone and that person does the same. Not to brag or anything, but I know for a fact that I'm one of the best men out there that a girl would ever want and many of the women I'm gonna tell you about have said the same:
Girl #1 - I was 14, we were going out for 2 months, we met online, had no complaints about her. This was mostly my fault b'cuz I didn't know how to handle relationships, so it ended due to my lack of action.
Girl #2 - I was 15 going on 16, we met online, mostly talked on the phone, didn't get to see each other much for two reasons: 1) Her mother was a cruel, careless witch who wanted nothing for her daughter (so she was seeing me "secretly"); 2) She had an older guy friend online whom she never met but he was always putting things in her head and trying to end the relationship b'cuz he wanted her all to himself. So she had a hard time making up her own mind, she thought of killing herself a couple times. So this one was not my fault but rather her mother and mostly that idiot she knew. Lasted for 6 months.
Girl #3 - I was 16. Knew this girl for a couple years, she was a few years older than me. Year #1 was perfect. Year #2 she lost her job, lots of bad things started happening with her, she got very depressed no matter how much I helped, she tried breaking up with me on and off, started seeing ghosts and dead people, dolls talking to her, turning evangelist, etc. Oh and did I mention there was no sex included with all that crazy stuff? Absolutely not my fault.
Girl #4 - I was 18. We were only together for two weeks. This is my fault because I scared her away, it was right after the previous one ended and I guess I was trying to rekindle what I had lost and had been missing out on.
Girl #5 - 18 yrs old. Together for a couple months. This girl was down for EVERYTHING and I mean everything, she was hot too and very sweet personality. But the problem was that she was down for way too much, she was a bit too slow, said yes to almost anything, that was kind of a turn off. If she can say yes to anything, then imagine some other guy coming along while and I'm with her and... you know.
Girl #6 - 19 yrs old. Ooooo boy, complete and total b****. I'll tell you right now, the only thing she was good for was the sex, outside of that, she was a selfish, stuck-up, and cold-hearted chick who spent more time trying to de-edify than anything else. Lasted for about 3 months.
Girl #7 - I was 19 as well. This one is definitely my fault. She girl was sooooooooo sweet to me, like the perfect best friend. There were a lot of mixed signals though. We went on one date, everything was fine, then at the end I tried to kiss her but she laughed and was like what is it? I said nothing. Couple months later, I met Girl #8 and she met a new guy, she called me up, we talked and then asked me why I didn't kiss her. I was shocked, I told her the truth, she said its ok we're still good friends. I still know her to this day but we don't talk much anymore cuz shes so occupied with that guy she met back then, they're still together and she is so IN LOVE with this man its crazy, talking bout how shes all about building up a foundation with him. I feel like I missed out.
Girl #8 - Was still 19. She was 4 years older, knew her for 6 months then we got married. We were gonna marry sometime in the far future but only did it then for financial reasons cuz she was in this online business. So we didn't get out own place until a year later, then I discovered her true self -- A huge anger problem, a menstrual disorder, gave herself too much work to do and didn't want any of my help regardless, the house always looked like hurricane katrina complete with bug infestations (you should have seen the fridge), didn't matter if I spent 9 hours one day cleaning the whole place myself, she messed it up again. We got into more fights than anything else, she didn't wanna do anything, no sex, going out, etc. It ended by the time I was 21.
Finally, Girl #9 - Presently dating right now for about 2 months. Ok, everything is perfect with this relationship, it's going smooth. The one thing that stands out is the chemistry, it is unlike any that I've had with the past women, it is C-R-A-Z-Y chemistry and we get along so perfectly. Here's the problem: Her parents (she's 19) don't care about her, they don't know how to show her they love her. See, she wasn't supposed to be born at birth, it was her and her brother, something happened and she wasn't supposed to make it, she thinks it has something to do with that. But her mom won't let her go out and experience life, she always wants to know where she is, always questioning what she's eating at home or why she's sitting a certain way or looking a certain way. So she has to "secretly" see me, we do this at least once a week, mostly after midnight though when her parents are at work. If its during the day, I have to call out of work cuz I work in the day, I did this twice already and I had a job interview that I went to each time after I saw her in the day, so it wasn't just for seeing her. She's moving to Atlanta with her family in July (they got a new house there), shes gonna go to school there for 2 years then come back here to NY. We both want to continue the relationship long distance until she gets back and take turns visiting each other periodically. I would move down there but I currently make $24,000 a year so ummm..... NO. Yeah you know it does cost money to travel, even worse, move.
On a positive note, I really feel like this one can work. I feel more aware and conscious of doing things the right way this time around. I wanna continue and build a foundation with this girl. We're so into each other, there have been no problems outside of her twisted parents. But man I tell ya, if her folks weren't that way, this would be one HOT relationship if they'd her go out, we can do so much more together -- movies, parks, have dinner, long walks, summer time, all that good stuff... oh man. But unfortunately, everyone else is doing that with their normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.
So what do you think? Is my love life cursed or what? I'm not saying I'm not happy with this current girl, I am despite the dark lords of the sith *cough* sorry i mean her parents. But I'm just saying isn't it ironic that God never grants a great guy like me to have a normal relationship? My definition of normal relationship = The girl I'm with now but with normal parents.
Is it me or is my love life simply cursed?
Okay man. I got to level with you right off the back. You say the relationship is smooth and great, but how is it going so well when you cannot even connect with the girl, let alone, the parents? Before getting past the point of no return, I recommend you sit back and think what this relationship will look like if you married this girl. Think how this will change you and her. Now, I recommend you form a list of what you think she can contribute to a relationship, and what you can contribute to a relationship. (The things that hold a relationship together like honesty, commitement, funny, attractive, etc). Write a second list of those things that you and your girlfriend do that can destroy the relationship, or make it real bumpy. (Get specific. No since of lying to yourself). If the good benefits of you and your girlfriend outweigh the bad "hurdles" you will be presented with or could be presented with, then your relationship has a chance. If you are confident that this relationship deserves the effort, continue on.
Step 2: Two things concern me the most as you told your story: your girlriend has highly controlling parents, and you two live a substantially loong distance away from each other. Starting with the parents. Remember, her parents, whether they treated her like a diamond or dirt, they are still there and they still influence her in huge ways. The question is: How much do the parents really influence her attitude? Is she just being rebellious right now, or is this her true self? Just on my perspective, it seems she is just going through a rebellious moment, for she is mostly seeing you and keeping in contact with you secretly, without her parents knowledge. This can be extremely damaging if the parents forbid you two seeing each other, not just to you (losing a potentially wonderful girl), but to her as well (losing any respect and trust she gained with her parents plus you). You must find a way to prevent yourself from looking so secretive and find a way to open up communications with the parents. If you truly want to be with her, eventually you are going to have to meet the parents. Suddenly appearing on the doorstep and saying I'm engaged, to the parents, with their little girl can really start some carnage! Try to demonstrate a friendship with the girl to the parents and see if that works. At least try to get it to the point to where the parents do not mind seeing you two together. (You might have to hold off on the sexual urges and glances around the parents). If you got okay parents, try to get them to loosen the dirt as well with her parents (or a sister if you got one!). Above all else, she needs to know your parents, and you need to know hers. Whether good or bad, you will have a hard time understanding her, and her understanding you, if you cannot even determine how you two were brought up during the good times and bad times in your life. Try to use this time between now and July to at least get things started.
Long distance relationship: By far, extremely difficult. For this to work, communication will have to be a definite focal point. Make sure before she goes that you two will be able to communicate effectively about the good things, the bad things, and definetly the ugly things. During the time of separation, focus on getting to know each other intently. She may not want to, and you may not either, but you two must explore each other, and learn to accept each other. Remember also, some things you must allow her to solve on her own. Being the guy with all the answers will form an unhealthy attachment with her to you, which you will loathe. Try to offer advice, but if she does not drop the subject, allow her to vent! If her parents are like you say they are, you are going to have to listen to her vent A LOT!! Allow her this process of healing, and she will respect you and love you deeply. Connect with her. Do not make her feel as if you do not like listening to her or understand her. Acknowledge that you heard her, and even dig into yourself and let her know, I know what you are going through. (No man or woman is an island. We just like to perceive ourselves as such.) If possible, try not to focus on sexual cues much. She may say okay, but she may have not built a structually sound backbone, (do to her lifestyle right now) and may agree to anything you say. (Girl #5 ring any bells)? Promote her from time to time to admit when she does or does not like something you do. Allow her to critisize from time to time, but allow her to know where your boundaries are at times as well. Also, try to arrange a visit from her every once in a while. Take pictures, write to her, send her a postcard, let her know that you are still thinking about her even when you are not talking. Encourage her to do the same. Phone conversations don't compare when a girl has wrote you a love poem that you can read over and over again! Finally, use this time to reflect on youself as well. If this relationship is going to work, you must know your bearings and she must know hers. Figure out what previous relationships have taught you, and how you could have responded. Try to focus not on what they did wrong, but what you did wrong, whether you did everything right or not. Nobody is perfect, and if you reflect like this, you will find many things you could have done to alter the results of your previous girlfriends. (This one will be pretty tough, but keep focus on learning, not condenscending yourself. A mistake is not an error until you refuse to correct the mistake). Try to improve your current relationship with such reflections, and ask for help if you need it! Encourage her to do the same, and I am sure you two will do fine!
Don't give up and do your best. I am rooting for you!!
Reply:No. i think you are doing great.
rosemary
Girl #1 - I was 14, we were going out for 2 months, we met online, had no complaints about her. This was mostly my fault b'cuz I didn't know how to handle relationships, so it ended due to my lack of action.
Girl #2 - I was 15 going on 16, we met online, mostly talked on the phone, didn't get to see each other much for two reasons: 1) Her mother was a cruel, careless witch who wanted nothing for her daughter (so she was seeing me "secretly"); 2) She had an older guy friend online whom she never met but he was always putting things in her head and trying to end the relationship b'cuz he wanted her all to himself. So she had a hard time making up her own mind, she thought of killing herself a couple times. So this one was not my fault but rather her mother and mostly that idiot she knew. Lasted for 6 months.
Girl #3 - I was 16. Knew this girl for a couple years, she was a few years older than me. Year #1 was perfect. Year #2 she lost her job, lots of bad things started happening with her, she got very depressed no matter how much I helped, she tried breaking up with me on and off, started seeing ghosts and dead people, dolls talking to her, turning evangelist, etc. Oh and did I mention there was no sex included with all that crazy stuff? Absolutely not my fault.
Girl #4 - I was 18. We were only together for two weeks. This is my fault because I scared her away, it was right after the previous one ended and I guess I was trying to rekindle what I had lost and had been missing out on.
Girl #5 - 18 yrs old. Together for a couple months. This girl was down for EVERYTHING and I mean everything, she was hot too and very sweet personality. But the problem was that she was down for way too much, she was a bit too slow, said yes to almost anything, that was kind of a turn off. If she can say yes to anything, then imagine some other guy coming along while and I'm with her and... you know.
Girl #6 - 19 yrs old. Ooooo boy, complete and total b****. I'll tell you right now, the only thing she was good for was the sex, outside of that, she was a selfish, stuck-up, and cold-hearted chick who spent more time trying to de-edify than anything else. Lasted for about 3 months.
Girl #7 - I was 19 as well. This one is definitely my fault. She girl was sooooooooo sweet to me, like the perfect best friend. There were a lot of mixed signals though. We went on one date, everything was fine, then at the end I tried to kiss her but she laughed and was like what is it? I said nothing. Couple months later, I met Girl #8 and she met a new guy, she called me up, we talked and then asked me why I didn't kiss her. I was shocked, I told her the truth, she said its ok we're still good friends. I still know her to this day but we don't talk much anymore cuz shes so occupied with that guy she met back then, they're still together and she is so IN LOVE with this man its crazy, talking bout how shes all about building up a foundation with him. I feel like I missed out.
Girl #8 - Was still 19. She was 4 years older, knew her for 6 months then we got married. We were gonna marry sometime in the far future but only did it then for financial reasons cuz she was in this online business. So we didn't get out own place until a year later, then I discovered her true self -- A huge anger problem, a menstrual disorder, gave herself too much work to do and didn't want any of my help regardless, the house always looked like hurricane katrina complete with bug infestations (you should have seen the fridge), didn't matter if I spent 9 hours one day cleaning the whole place myself, she messed it up again. We got into more fights than anything else, she didn't wanna do anything, no sex, going out, etc. It ended by the time I was 21.
Finally, Girl #9 - Presently dating right now for about 2 months. Ok, everything is perfect with this relationship, it's going smooth. The one thing that stands out is the chemistry, it is unlike any that I've had with the past women, it is C-R-A-Z-Y chemistry and we get along so perfectly. Here's the problem: Her parents (she's 19) don't care about her, they don't know how to show her they love her. See, she wasn't supposed to be born at birth, it was her and her brother, something happened and she wasn't supposed to make it, she thinks it has something to do with that. But her mom won't let her go out and experience life, she always wants to know where she is, always questioning what she's eating at home or why she's sitting a certain way or looking a certain way. So she has to "secretly" see me, we do this at least once a week, mostly after midnight though when her parents are at work. If its during the day, I have to call out of work cuz I work in the day, I did this twice already and I had a job interview that I went to each time after I saw her in the day, so it wasn't just for seeing her. She's moving to Atlanta with her family in July (they got a new house there), shes gonna go to school there for 2 years then come back here to NY. We both want to continue the relationship long distance until she gets back and take turns visiting each other periodically. I would move down there but I currently make $24,000 a year so ummm..... NO. Yeah you know it does cost money to travel, even worse, move.
On a positive note, I really feel like this one can work. I feel more aware and conscious of doing things the right way this time around. I wanna continue and build a foundation with this girl. We're so into each other, there have been no problems outside of her twisted parents. But man I tell ya, if her folks weren't that way, this would be one HOT relationship if they'd her go out, we can do so much more together -- movies, parks, have dinner, long walks, summer time, all that good stuff... oh man. But unfortunately, everyone else is doing that with their normal boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.
So what do you think? Is my love life cursed or what? I'm not saying I'm not happy with this current girl, I am despite the dark lords of the sith *cough* sorry i mean her parents. But I'm just saying isn't it ironic that God never grants a great guy like me to have a normal relationship? My definition of normal relationship = The girl I'm with now but with normal parents.
Is it me or is my love life simply cursed?
Okay man. I got to level with you right off the back. You say the relationship is smooth and great, but how is it going so well when you cannot even connect with the girl, let alone, the parents? Before getting past the point of no return, I recommend you sit back and think what this relationship will look like if you married this girl. Think how this will change you and her. Now, I recommend you form a list of what you think she can contribute to a relationship, and what you can contribute to a relationship. (The things that hold a relationship together like honesty, commitement, funny, attractive, etc). Write a second list of those things that you and your girlfriend do that can destroy the relationship, or make it real bumpy. (Get specific. No since of lying to yourself). If the good benefits of you and your girlfriend outweigh the bad "hurdles" you will be presented with or could be presented with, then your relationship has a chance. If you are confident that this relationship deserves the effort, continue on.
Step 2: Two things concern me the most as you told your story: your girlriend has highly controlling parents, and you two live a substantially loong distance away from each other. Starting with the parents. Remember, her parents, whether they treated her like a diamond or dirt, they are still there and they still influence her in huge ways. The question is: How much do the parents really influence her attitude? Is she just being rebellious right now, or is this her true self? Just on my perspective, it seems she is just going through a rebellious moment, for she is mostly seeing you and keeping in contact with you secretly, without her parents knowledge. This can be extremely damaging if the parents forbid you two seeing each other, not just to you (losing a potentially wonderful girl), but to her as well (losing any respect and trust she gained with her parents plus you). You must find a way to prevent yourself from looking so secretive and find a way to open up communications with the parents. If you truly want to be with her, eventually you are going to have to meet the parents. Suddenly appearing on the doorstep and saying I'm engaged, to the parents, with their little girl can really start some carnage! Try to demonstrate a friendship with the girl to the parents and see if that works. At least try to get it to the point to where the parents do not mind seeing you two together. (You might have to hold off on the sexual urges and glances around the parents). If you got okay parents, try to get them to loosen the dirt as well with her parents (or a sister if you got one!). Above all else, she needs to know your parents, and you need to know hers. Whether good or bad, you will have a hard time understanding her, and her understanding you, if you cannot even determine how you two were brought up during the good times and bad times in your life. Try to use this time between now and July to at least get things started.
Long distance relationship: By far, extremely difficult. For this to work, communication will have to be a definite focal point. Make sure before she goes that you two will be able to communicate effectively about the good things, the bad things, and definetly the ugly things. During the time of separation, focus on getting to know each other intently. She may not want to, and you may not either, but you two must explore each other, and learn to accept each other. Remember also, some things you must allow her to solve on her own. Being the guy with all the answers will form an unhealthy attachment with her to you, which you will loathe. Try to offer advice, but if she does not drop the subject, allow her to vent! If her parents are like you say they are, you are going to have to listen to her vent A LOT!! Allow her this process of healing, and she will respect you and love you deeply. Connect with her. Do not make her feel as if you do not like listening to her or understand her. Acknowledge that you heard her, and even dig into yourself and let her know, I know what you are going through. (No man or woman is an island. We just like to perceive ourselves as such.) If possible, try not to focus on sexual cues much. She may say okay, but she may have not built a structually sound backbone, (do to her lifestyle right now) and may agree to anything you say. (Girl #5 ring any bells)? Promote her from time to time to admit when she does or does not like something you do. Allow her to critisize from time to time, but allow her to know where your boundaries are at times as well. Also, try to arrange a visit from her every once in a while. Take pictures, write to her, send her a postcard, let her know that you are still thinking about her even when you are not talking. Encourage her to do the same. Phone conversations don't compare when a girl has wrote you a love poem that you can read over and over again! Finally, use this time to reflect on youself as well. If this relationship is going to work, you must know your bearings and she must know hers. Figure out what previous relationships have taught you, and how you could have responded. Try to focus not on what they did wrong, but what you did wrong, whether you did everything right or not. Nobody is perfect, and if you reflect like this, you will find many things you could have done to alter the results of your previous girlfriends. (This one will be pretty tough, but keep focus on learning, not condenscending yourself. A mistake is not an error until you refuse to correct the mistake). Try to improve your current relationship with such reflections, and ask for help if you need it! Encourage her to do the same, and I am sure you two will do fine!
Don't give up and do your best. I am rooting for you!!
Reply:No. i think you are doing great.
rosemary
Do any of you think that when you were younger you weren't racist, but as you got older you became racist?
just a question....IT IS NOT MENT TO PROMOTE RACISM OR TO INSULT OTHER USERS!!!!
i think that this has happened to me...I think that it happened when i went to the Social Services Office with my father about 6 years ago...He was out of work and had HIV and HEP C and had no health insurance...He was trying to get on Medicad but was denied! But when you go to DSS where we live you see a lot of minorities dressed in desiner clothing, driving nice cars...and receiving free services....I think that is where it began...just a note: i grew up in the Ghetto for a while and my stepfather is black....Also my husband works for Kodak...he is white...but when he goes up for an interview...even though he is more or just as qualified as the other interviewees Kodak always hires the minorities...and when a minority is really bad at their job...Kodak just gives them a slap on the wrist...too scared of getting sued...i presume...So what are you opinions?
Do any of you think that when you were younger you weren't racist, but as you got older you became racist?
I think that it is a good question and that you are going to be totally trashed for asking it. You will also find that many people won't answer but will instead tell you about some white guy they saw doing the same thing. I would answer but I am really tired of being trashed today for my opinions (which I'm obvioulsy not allowed to have unless it agrees with the PC freaks). Good luck!
Reply:it usally by experice or how u are raised
Reply:First, I am not taking this as an insult or you being racist, just my thoughts. Racism is pointless really. Without some of the people in history who did great things, we wouldn't be where we are now. But, it is true that some places will pick a minority first. There are people out there, white...black...hispanic, that for ANY given reason will scream you're a racist...and places know this, so they try to save some trouble. Or, in some instances....they may be racist themselves, or they may just be selfish and decide that if someone is willing to do something that won't require as much as the next person, they will pick them. Racism won't ever disappear, and as you got older you may have started noticing favortism at certain places, but that doesn't make you a bad person. You can look at someone of another race with negative thoughts, but you must be able to not hold it against that entire race. Every race has an idiot, and that can't be changed. Just don't let is consume you to the point that you begin thinking it's cool to run around with a sheet over your head lol.
Which I must state....just for general purpose....the KKK, for them being such proud people and being so highly racist...why do they insist on hiding their identities and faces....just a thought.
Reply:Yes, that is true for me.
Reply:as a child the seeds are planted how we think. and to be so openly shown to our fragile hearts and soul that different race is treated better makes hate even more deweling in us as adults. it does play a big role in our lives. its is some form of racist even if we dont mean it, its what our eyes have seen
Reply:vise-versa
Reply:Welcome to the USA
Reply:yeah
Reply:Your question...with the part about the Kodak hiring practices just drained all energy from my body save my fingers. I wasn't racist when I was young and I am not know, however like you I became aware of hatred, division, discrimination, and the prejudices people have against one another without RELATIONSHIP. Please do not lump experiences with a company into a list of generalities that cause your heart to harden. Maybe Kodak has its reasons for hiring as they do: making up for a lack of diversity for several years? Maybe they have less honorable reasons. You should ASK and try to find out ~ please do not assume. You've experienced some pain and have witnessed some unfortunate events. Poor people can take care of themselves just as wealthy people can and be clean and well dressed. Been to a thrift store lately? OR they can have misgivings about their priorities and how they spend their money. That can be why they are poor in the first place. Isolated events shouldn't be used to decide how you in your heart will look at the world. What we need is more tolerance, more love, more understanding, more empowerment. Please remain a part of the solution.
God bless.
~A black hardworking woman who's received no handouts: just the results of hard work and determination through adversity.
PEACE
Reply:I understand what you are going through. I'm in a minority dominated area, which makes me the real minority. I am discriminated against everywhere I go.
When we are kids we are taught everyone is equal, that if you work hard enough you will have everything you need, if you are nice to people they'll be nice to you, and if you ignore bad people they will go away. Then you grow up and find out that the middle class white racist stereotype just doesn't apply to you or anyone else you know. And the people in charge have no sympathy for you or your problems. It's a hard knocks life for us.
Trickle down economics begins with the rich men at the top, down to the middle class, then to the working class (most people and most white people). Lastly, it trickles down to the poor (mostly white women making us last to get anything, unfortunately).
Once you are poor enough to need services you have to wait for services and aid to trickle down from working class people of other protected races. Then from there it trickles down to poor blacks, to poor foreigners, and lastly to poor whites (mostly women and their dependants). You'll be lucky to get any help at all and have to scream help for years before they'll send emergency services to your aid.
I hope things get better for you soon.
Reply:Maybe he is not as qualified as you think. Do you work for Kodak? Are you involved in management decisions for Kodak? if you are not then you really are just speculating.
i think that this has happened to me...I think that it happened when i went to the Social Services Office with my father about 6 years ago...He was out of work and had HIV and HEP C and had no health insurance...He was trying to get on Medicad but was denied! But when you go to DSS where we live you see a lot of minorities dressed in desiner clothing, driving nice cars...and receiving free services....I think that is where it began...just a note: i grew up in the Ghetto for a while and my stepfather is black....Also my husband works for Kodak...he is white...but when he goes up for an interview...even though he is more or just as qualified as the other interviewees Kodak always hires the minorities...and when a minority is really bad at their job...Kodak just gives them a slap on the wrist...too scared of getting sued...i presume...So what are you opinions?
Do any of you think that when you were younger you weren't racist, but as you got older you became racist?
I think that it is a good question and that you are going to be totally trashed for asking it. You will also find that many people won't answer but will instead tell you about some white guy they saw doing the same thing. I would answer but I am really tired of being trashed today for my opinions (which I'm obvioulsy not allowed to have unless it agrees with the PC freaks). Good luck!
Reply:it usally by experice or how u are raised
Reply:First, I am not taking this as an insult or you being racist, just my thoughts. Racism is pointless really. Without some of the people in history who did great things, we wouldn't be where we are now. But, it is true that some places will pick a minority first. There are people out there, white...black...hispanic, that for ANY given reason will scream you're a racist...and places know this, so they try to save some trouble. Or, in some instances....they may be racist themselves, or they may just be selfish and decide that if someone is willing to do something that won't require as much as the next person, they will pick them. Racism won't ever disappear, and as you got older you may have started noticing favortism at certain places, but that doesn't make you a bad person. You can look at someone of another race with negative thoughts, but you must be able to not hold it against that entire race. Every race has an idiot, and that can't be changed. Just don't let is consume you to the point that you begin thinking it's cool to run around with a sheet over your head lol.
Which I must state....just for general purpose....the KKK, for them being such proud people and being so highly racist...why do they insist on hiding their identities and faces....just a thought.
Reply:Yes, that is true for me.
Reply:as a child the seeds are planted how we think. and to be so openly shown to our fragile hearts and soul that different race is treated better makes hate even more deweling in us as adults. it does play a big role in our lives. its is some form of racist even if we dont mean it, its what our eyes have seen
Reply:vise-versa
Reply:Welcome to the USA
Reply:yeah
Reply:Your question...with the part about the Kodak hiring practices just drained all energy from my body save my fingers. I wasn't racist when I was young and I am not know, however like you I became aware of hatred, division, discrimination, and the prejudices people have against one another without RELATIONSHIP. Please do not lump experiences with a company into a list of generalities that cause your heart to harden. Maybe Kodak has its reasons for hiring as they do: making up for a lack of diversity for several years? Maybe they have less honorable reasons. You should ASK and try to find out ~ please do not assume. You've experienced some pain and have witnessed some unfortunate events. Poor people can take care of themselves just as wealthy people can and be clean and well dressed. Been to a thrift store lately? OR they can have misgivings about their priorities and how they spend their money. That can be why they are poor in the first place. Isolated events shouldn't be used to decide how you in your heart will look at the world. What we need is more tolerance, more love, more understanding, more empowerment. Please remain a part of the solution.
God bless.
~A black hardworking woman who's received no handouts: just the results of hard work and determination through adversity.
PEACE
Reply:I understand what you are going through. I'm in a minority dominated area, which makes me the real minority. I am discriminated against everywhere I go.
When we are kids we are taught everyone is equal, that if you work hard enough you will have everything you need, if you are nice to people they'll be nice to you, and if you ignore bad people they will go away. Then you grow up and find out that the middle class white racist stereotype just doesn't apply to you or anyone else you know. And the people in charge have no sympathy for you or your problems. It's a hard knocks life for us.
Trickle down economics begins with the rich men at the top, down to the middle class, then to the working class (most people and most white people). Lastly, it trickles down to the poor (mostly white women making us last to get anything, unfortunately).
Once you are poor enough to need services you have to wait for services and aid to trickle down from working class people of other protected races. Then from there it trickles down to poor blacks, to poor foreigners, and lastly to poor whites (mostly women and their dependants). You'll be lucky to get any help at all and have to scream help for years before they'll send emergency services to your aid.
I hope things get better for you soon.
Reply:Maybe he is not as qualified as you think. Do you work for Kodak? Are you involved in management decisions for Kodak? if you are not then you really are just speculating.
Switching from permanent job to temp-to-perm?
Well, I finally heard back today from my interview from last week....they want to offer me a job!!
However, they said that their accounting positions all start out as 'temp-to-perm' for 8 weeks, afterwhich, if the performance is acceptable, will turn into a permanent position.
The offer was less than my current pay.....but she said that after the 8 weeks I could expect a raise given my degree and experience. I told her that I was very interested, but asked if the pay rate was negotiable b/c I am currently making more than what she quoted. She said she would check and get back with me.
This job is only 15 minutes from home, whereas my current job is more like an hour. Plus, from the job description, the work is definitely something I would enjoy doing!! The company is much larger, and I see much more room for advancement.
Question: Do I accept their offer or stay where I am?
Switching from permanent job to temp-to-perm?
It May Be A Good Idea If Its Closer Because Thats Less Gas And then it would be great if they give you a higher or equal pay
Reply:Hi, I'm in HR. That sounds more than legitimate. Just find out if you get any benefits for that 8 weeks, because you'll want health insurance. Many companies do a probationary period, they are calling there's "temp-to-perm." Since you'll be getting a pay raise after the 8 weeks is up, I wouldn't blow a good opportunity over the first two months. You'll want to find out exactly what the raise will be after 8 weeks, you don't want to be surprised and find out that it's still lower than you make now. And find out when benefits are effective, you don't want a shock there either. If both of those answers are positive, then go for it.
However, they said that their accounting positions all start out as 'temp-to-perm' for 8 weeks, afterwhich, if the performance is acceptable, will turn into a permanent position.
The offer was less than my current pay.....but she said that after the 8 weeks I could expect a raise given my degree and experience. I told her that I was very interested, but asked if the pay rate was negotiable b/c I am currently making more than what she quoted. She said she would check and get back with me.
This job is only 15 minutes from home, whereas my current job is more like an hour. Plus, from the job description, the work is definitely something I would enjoy doing!! The company is much larger, and I see much more room for advancement.
Question: Do I accept their offer or stay where I am?
Switching from permanent job to temp-to-perm?
It May Be A Good Idea If Its Closer Because Thats Less Gas And then it would be great if they give you a higher or equal pay
Reply:Hi, I'm in HR. That sounds more than legitimate. Just find out if you get any benefits for that 8 weeks, because you'll want health insurance. Many companies do a probationary period, they are calling there's "temp-to-perm." Since you'll be getting a pay raise after the 8 weeks is up, I wouldn't blow a good opportunity over the first two months. You'll want to find out exactly what the raise will be after 8 weeks, you don't want to be surprised and find out that it's still lower than you make now. And find out when benefits are effective, you don't want a shock there either. If both of those answers are positive, then go for it.
"Ow, my frickin' ears!"?
It surprises me that we aren't allowed to say 'ars.e' (without the additional '.') on Yahoo! Answers, but 'crap' is fine. To me, the latter is more of a 'swear' word...
Censorship's a peculiar thing- I notice in most (all?) television shows broadcast in the US, the 'f' word is simply not allowed (though in the UK it's okay in moderation after 9pm), and I even saw an interview in which a journalist's playful use of the word 'a.ss' was bleeped out. I agree that 'f**k' and the dreaded 'c' word should be kept out of the 'reach' of children as long as possible since the meaning behind them is quite aggressive and coarse, and I know censorship is in place to protect children and such, but surely a silly word like 'ar.se' isn't going to do them any harm?
Are we being a little over-sensitive about certain words? Do you agree with censorship as it is today?
PS: The title of this question is a Simpsons quote, if anyone's wondering.
"Ow, my frickin' ears!"?
Yes, it's strange...you can't call little blue birds..'.t i t s' or a female dog a '*********', or a cigarette a 'f a g'. You can however say wanking, shagging and fanny.
Reply:They are words, that cause unneeded angst among people. It's as if people that get pissed off by these words have an IQ of a 4 year old. I can't remember the last time I told someone to f**k off, but, I am better at bringing them to confused misery with my verbage and analysis.
Reply:i dont understand how crap gets through personally, not that im against it getting through just with the others censored its odd..
Reply:I agree...
I don't know what TV is like in America but in Australia our censorship laws seem pretty reasonable. What irritates me is people trying to blame tv for the way youth is going. Its up to the parents... and swear words.... are just words... are they not? Why can you see people practicaly humping each other or dressed like the nastyest prostitute ever on tv hits in the morning, but you can't hear a swear word on telly till after 8:30. And how come it's ok to watch a graphic murder take place but you cant watch people in the act of intercourse? I mean which is more acceptable... sex (something everybody does) or murder and rape and torture?
Reply:people get away with many things on this site, i learned early on that you can just put a space between the word and it will sail through. You are right about the watershed, 9.00pm but many people on TV think it's OK to slip in their expletives, some perhaps just don't care. Actually what i have a real problem with is not so much TV as the parents who swear at their children, they take that as a sign it's OK to do so, and believe me when you hear a six year old say something really rude you wonder quite what the parents were thinking.
i remember saying a mildly rude word as a kid and was mortified, what had i done, but the reaction was worse i had broken a cardinal rule, children don't use naughty words and you usually got a good telling off from doing so.
Reply:I don't think we're being over sensitive. As a matter of fact, are we being sensitive enough? I've noticed that as time has progressed, cursing and less obscene words have descended to the younger ages. For example, when I was seven, I could hardly say "Shut-up" without getting in trouble, and wasn't "allowed" to say crap or suck until I was like 12. But the other day I heard a seven year-old passionately use the word "suck" as if he did it all the time (which I figure he does). I understand that most of this falls on the parents, but my parents never said the word "suck" and I picked it up just fine. I'm not saying to censor the word "suck", but my point is that more severe words are being used by younger ages. How long will it be until seven year-olds are cursing?
Censorship's a peculiar thing- I notice in most (all?) television shows broadcast in the US, the 'f' word is simply not allowed (though in the UK it's okay in moderation after 9pm), and I even saw an interview in which a journalist's playful use of the word 'a.ss' was bleeped out. I agree that 'f**k' and the dreaded 'c' word should be kept out of the 'reach' of children as long as possible since the meaning behind them is quite aggressive and coarse, and I know censorship is in place to protect children and such, but surely a silly word like 'ar.se' isn't going to do them any harm?
Are we being a little over-sensitive about certain words? Do you agree with censorship as it is today?
PS: The title of this question is a Simpsons quote, if anyone's wondering.
"Ow, my frickin' ears!"?
Yes, it's strange...you can't call little blue birds..'.t i t s' or a female dog a '*********', or a cigarette a 'f a g'. You can however say wanking, shagging and fanny.
Reply:They are words, that cause unneeded angst among people. It's as if people that get pissed off by these words have an IQ of a 4 year old. I can't remember the last time I told someone to f**k off, but, I am better at bringing them to confused misery with my verbage and analysis.
Reply:i dont understand how crap gets through personally, not that im against it getting through just with the others censored its odd..
Reply:I agree...
I don't know what TV is like in America but in Australia our censorship laws seem pretty reasonable. What irritates me is people trying to blame tv for the way youth is going. Its up to the parents... and swear words.... are just words... are they not? Why can you see people practicaly humping each other or dressed like the nastyest prostitute ever on tv hits in the morning, but you can't hear a swear word on telly till after 8:30. And how come it's ok to watch a graphic murder take place but you cant watch people in the act of intercourse? I mean which is more acceptable... sex (something everybody does) or murder and rape and torture?
Reply:people get away with many things on this site, i learned early on that you can just put a space between the word and it will sail through. You are right about the watershed, 9.00pm but many people on TV think it's OK to slip in their expletives, some perhaps just don't care. Actually what i have a real problem with is not so much TV as the parents who swear at their children, they take that as a sign it's OK to do so, and believe me when you hear a six year old say something really rude you wonder quite what the parents were thinking.
i remember saying a mildly rude word as a kid and was mortified, what had i done, but the reaction was worse i had broken a cardinal rule, children don't use naughty words and you usually got a good telling off from doing so.
Reply:I don't think we're being over sensitive. As a matter of fact, are we being sensitive enough? I've noticed that as time has progressed, cursing and less obscene words have descended to the younger ages. For example, when I was seven, I could hardly say "Shut-up" without getting in trouble, and wasn't "allowed" to say crap or suck until I was like 12. But the other day I heard a seven year-old passionately use the word "suck" as if he did it all the time (which I figure he does). I understand that most of this falls on the parents, but my parents never said the word "suck" and I picked it up just fine. I'm not saying to censor the word "suck", but my point is that more severe words are being used by younger ages. How long will it be until seven year-olds are cursing?
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